Five Ways to End Harry Potter

115

Jul 08, 2007

Posted by Melissa Anelli
Uncategorized

The New York Times has published a special five-piece opinion section asking several authors and an artist to write/draw about how they think Harry Potter should end. The contributors, Damon Lindelof (“Lost” head writer), Meg Cabot (novelist), Larry Doyle (former “The Simpsons” writer and current screenwriter), Polly Harvath (author) and Andrea Dezso (artist) all offer their interpretations, including two pieces that would be considered Harry Potter fan fiction. Lindelof maintains that Harry should die, saying:

Because if there’s one thing we like more than explosions, it’s surprises. And even though 8 out of 10 of us want him to die, we know in our hearts that he won’t.

And that’s because Ms. Rowling wouldn’t dare.

She can’t whack Harry because there are rules that must be followed when it comes to how one ends a grand mythology. Good triumphs over evil. Hope overcomes despair. Paper covers rock. Harry wins. Voldemort loses. The Ewoks sing.

And this is precisely why Harry has to die.

Thanks to all who sent this in!





48 Responses to Five Ways to End Harry Potter

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1

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I love Damon Lindelof. He’s so freakin’ right.

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“Hermione Tells All” is hilarious.

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2. What does everybody think? Will Harry survive DH? JKR was ‘devastated’ when finishing the series. I hope it doesn’t mean Harry will die after killing Voldemort!

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Mellisa, do you ever rest? lol =)! I love when great authors weigh in on HP. They have NOTHING on our obsessive knit picking. Their brains would explode if they entered our forums, lol!

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They were all pretty pathetic

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I think harry will survive, it would be to devastating if he didn’t, especially to the younger kids that have only been reading the books and catching up the last couple of years, like my 9 y/o son, if harry dies i will have a lot of explaining to do…....

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These were great pieces. Funny and well thought out. And I’m digging the groovy cut-out artwork. (Is that Lyra and Will in the lower right-hand corner? Kidding.)

It’s a good thing that I checked the main Leaky site so I could see this article. For some reason Melissa’s posts aren’t making it to the text-only version that I usually use. I know you’re all insanely busy and on top of that you’ve been having server issues; hope Leaky doesn’t explode as we race through the rest of July!

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These are cute, but not highly clever, witty, or even original. Somehow I expected better of editorials commissioned for the New York Times.

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Gotta love the slowmo matrix action…that’d be saweeet!

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What a waste of time. Those were all incredibly stupid. Damon Lindelof’s was the worst. No wonder I can’t stand that show. I am in the wrong business, I can’t believe people get paid to write such drivel.

If I were going to write such an article, it would be one sentence: “Harry Potter should end the way J.K. Rowling wants it to.” Period.

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I want Harry To face Voldemort.. Call him Tom just like Dumbledore did.. Act like Dumbledore and not fear death, throw it in voldemorts face that he’s found the horocruxes, but he really hasn’t found them (so he’s tricking him) ... lol and somehow figure out where they are by voldemort being afraid o death and them wammo… harry his friends, draco, and snape all stupefy him at once and boooooom he blows up… yup.. that would be fine wih me.. :)

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this reminds me so much of the movie Stranger than Fiction... If you saw it you’d understand.

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“And this is precisely why Harry has to die.” ...and this is precisely why I don’t watch “Lost”.

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Man that was lame. They’re al so stupid especially that dimwitted little piece of sparkly fluff Meg Cabot. They thought they were being clever and funny but actually they were being stupid. JK Rowling’s masterpiece will be better than that dribble of liquid dihareoh. They should be smacked around for daring to soil JKR’s world with their feeble jokes. God they’re all so stupid. Especially Meg Cabot.

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Give them a break. They weren’t being serious (except for Lindolf, perhaps) they were writing as though they were writing for one of their audiences – it was a piss-take, just a joke. Like Doyle, that was like such a Simpsons halloween episode. And the writer of the Princess Diaries – everything fluffy and happy.

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I take exception to Lindelof’s claim that most of us want Harry dead. Not sure who he hangs out with, but Most of JK’s reader’s in my sphere would be pretty upset if she killed off Harry.

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When I read Meg Cabot’s skidmark I was like what is she splattering on about? When she mentions that the characters like Dumbledore come back to life does she truly think this will happen in the books? DEspite the fact that JKR has Specifically said that that will not happen? Meg Cabot is a jerk and truly and sincerely ignorant. Her Princess diary poop is nonsense and only for ignorant 11 year old girls who are too stupid to read serious books like Dickens and Harry Potter. Meg Cabot is a lump of poop on the side of the toilet of life and maybe she should just flush herself down the toilet instead of insulting harry potter all the time like it’s any of her business and like she could even be a billionth as good an author as the fantastic imaginative Jo Rowling. Meg Cabot needs to learn to shut up in the presence of her superiors, and by her superiors I mean jKR.

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Call ME lame. The sheer excitement and anticipation that I have felt as the release date of every new HP book approaches isn’t there this time. Oh, don’t get me wrong – I’ve had not one, not two, but three copies preordered for months and I still plan on being in line somewhere before midnight on July 20 – but I feel as if I’m waiting for an execution date. I don’t know if it’s the fact that this truely is the end of the series, or if deep in my heart I fear that JK will really kill Harry. After so many years of having Harry grow up with my own kids, it’s like losing one of my own children – seriously. ;o(

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Damon Lindelof is the Best!! I love LOST! He’s my hero!

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hi, i’m an italian guy… actually i’m expecting an end for harry like the one for neo in matrix revolutions…

do you remember? the equation… Neo-Smith=0 then Harry-Voldemort=0… if harry dies well then voldemort will stop to “live”...

i know it’s quite in conflict with the prophecy, but it’s just how i’d like the end to be…

i guess there are several grammar mistakes in this post ;)

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Jeez, people, chill.

One, I think it is yet another tribute to Jo and her magic that the NYT did this, and that people are willing to write on it (even though one can’t help getting the impression that a wee bit of bitterness on their parts was flowing into it … though most people, like Jonathan Ross, appear to be genuinely in awe of her) – and I loved the artwork.

Two, I love the idea of Jo being a grown-up Hermione writing down her story (though nothing else about the way whoever-it-was specifically imagined it).

Three, all in all, the editorials served as a useful demonstration of the difference between memorable (Jo) and forgettable writing. Hey – it’s just more fanfic. Nothing to get worked up about.

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i thought larry doyle’s was the most interesting. i don’t quite agree that voldie is harry’s dad… but i think the bit about voldie coming back again is very interesting. a little too typical of a horror story… but it would certainly be a very interesting way to end harry potter. but then again, if jkrowling does that, she’ll have a lot of kids chasing her yelling out “ms rowling must die” coz of the non-closure ending.

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Wait a minute.

JK Rowling wouldn’t dare kill Harry because that’s not how she’s supposed to which is why she will?

Buuuuuh?

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hmmm quite contradictory

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Grand Mythology! Bah! The Harry Potter series is like the hot dog of mythology, made from all the left over unwanted parts. I hope no one dies trying to save Harry, too many people have helped him along to much. I’d like Harry to step up and become a martyr, and paralyze those who would try to sacrifice themselves for him. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

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I didn’t like any of them. They were kind of dumb. I expected more.

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I can’t bring myself to read them at this moment. I read the bit here on the news page, laughed at the “Ewoks sing” comment, looked at my COS movie poster’s reflection in the mirror, and immediately started crying so hard. And I’m doing it again. Harry can’t die. I’ll lose it. I’m glad none of you can see me at the moment, because this is an ugly cry. I love Harry. My favorite character may be Ron and Snape may be a piece of literary genius, but I do think I would miss Harry the most. I love Harry. If he dies in Deathly Hallows, I hope it’s in the epilogue and he’s over a hundred years old.

Sobs And the breakdown begins.

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oh, yeah, and: delusional indeed is s/he who claims Jo “wouldn’t dare” one thing or another.

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Polly Horwavth, ” Hermione Tells All”, is hilarious! Great articles!

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I completely agree with Robbie and Kiwi. When I first read Lindelof’s I was like what? His made NO sense whatsoever

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I can’t wait to read this :) Meg Cabot is one of my FAVORITE authors, she’s so funny! I’m kinda pissed about what SOME person on here said but whatever, it was an uneducated opinion so…

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And in order to “get” Meg Cabot’s one you have to know that she writes like this all the time, a lot of her books are about people in the limelight (like the princess diaries, there’s a princess, and in the allamerican girl series there’s the girl who saved the president’s son, and in size 12 is not fat and the rest of that series it’s about a teen pop star).

So I can understand why people wouldn’t get her humor. She uses a lot of pop culture references and she’s very cheeky. But it surprises me that so many people here are that closeminded, just chill…

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This, unfortunately, is exactly what I expect from the New York Times. A bunch of supposed experts writing poorly thought-out pieces based on superficial knowledge.

Lindelof, for example, says Harry has to die because it would be surprising, and it would be surprising because it’s totally illogical. That’s like saying you could improve Shakespeare’s sonnets by sticking the word “cabbage” in at random twice per sonnet. “Shall I compare thee to a cabbage summer’s day?” Surprising, yes. Stupid, yes.

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Wow, if that’s the kind of thought Damon puts into everything, no wonder lost sucks!

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I actually like Lost. But he does like to kill people off. That’s his thing. But don’t put us in your category Lindelof of saying that most of us want Harry to die. So not true. And I thought these were stupid as well. Waste of print. We write the best stuff guys. And so does Jo! Leave it to her, and whatever happens, we have each other to talk to!

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Pretty cool!

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i think as all storys go good always beats evil so i say harry lives hench the prophocy neither can live wile the other survives i think jk rowlings is a gifted writer and with her series ended i hope she finds in her self to continue with some post harry potter books anything about the wizarding world i love the way her imagination woks and i can honestly say i never read period but something with her harry potter books makes me never want to put them down please please please write more it makes me sad to think there will not be anything else to ever read about harry potter

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Ever hear of “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”? These writers were obviously joking, there’s no need to be so mean about it all.

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They were good for a chuckle but not the wittiest things I have ever read. I am a huge Lost fan so it doesn’t surprise me that Lindelof would say that Harry should die. He seems to have a slight obession with death. It makes for a very interesting TV show, I can tell you that. I wonder how skewed his “8 in 10” statistic is. Did they poll fans or the general public who may want him to die because they are sick of hearing about him? I think within the fandom that number would be significantly less.

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Lindeloff’s makes perfect sense, actually. But I expect people to be closeminded, because that’s what happens when there are opposing viewpoints.

We all WANT Harry to live, but subconciously, we dont. It’s like if they didn’t kill Charlie in Lost. It’d be happy, yeah, but it’d leave no impact. Who wants a cliche “Into the Sunset” ending? The commenter who brought up Stranger Than Fiction was right, though.

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Yay Lost! One of my favorite t.v. shows. Live Harry, live!

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they weren’t that funny, but they weren’t terrible either i suppose. though, is it just me, or has that “hermione as jo” plot been used before? i vaguely remember something like that from ff.net. . .

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Well if I remember right JK said she was crying a lot after writing the second to last chapter. Since the final chapter is the epilogue it stands to reason that at least some of the trio is going to die. I personally would have to guess the one that JK is most emotionally invested in is Hermoine on top of that she has warned us time and time again to worry more about Hermoine’s safety than Rons. As for the articles why would you poll 80% of americans rather than 80% of americans that actually follow the series and read the books. I would reason people that are not involved in pottermania are going to want him to die just to be sure it is over with.

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all their ‘predictions’ were lame, except maybe the cartoon which is at least not a whole lot of rubbish. the authors used pathetic, cliched humour.

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LOL I liked this line out of the Damon Lindelof one: “If, like, Harry blew on the end of his wand and said, “I told you not to curse, Voldemort.”” haha. And then Harry spins said wand a la old westerns and slips it into his wand holster.

The made in Hogwarts one was just weird.

The Hermione one was wacko and funny, lol.

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F.N. Owl, your comment had me laughing. You are so right. Lindelof’s logic is… weak, to say the least.

I was alarmed by his statement that 8 out of 10 of us want Harry to die. Every Potter fan I know, with the exception of one person, wants Harry to live… but then, I usually keep to my little corner of the fandom, and am sometimes quite unaware of how other parts of the fandom feel about certain issues. Is Lindelof right?

If so, that saddens me.

Avatar ImageWON_TWO says: Hah! I know better...

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