Spoil Us Not, Sneaks!: A refresher on Leaky's pre-book policy
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
OK peoples. It's just about that time: A few months away from the book. THE book. We're getting a lot of e-mails about spoilers - and not just the kind where you say, "You may not want to read my theory because it's totally a spoiler." Thanks for the warning - we had no idea Snape was a body surfer! Awesome!
Anyway, the books will soon be printed. Sometime in the next few weeks we'll hear all sorts of ridiculous things, such as:
- The book magically appeared in a field ("Phoenix": Remember how the person who found it just happened to call the ever-magnanimous tab "The Sun," who then printed a review that basically read, "Nanny-nanny-poo-poo, we've read it and you haven't"?).
- Or, a bunch of bets for Harry to live / for Harry to die came out of the town where the books are being printed ("Half-Blood Prince": Remember the bets on Dumbly?).
- Even, perhaps, that there was a pistol shootout / watergun showdown / spaghetti-slinging match over stolen copies (again, "Half-Blood Prince." That is, just the pistol part).
And then there are the little spoiler-zone pockets, which crop up in strange places. Last time, a big leak came from a librarian who decided to dig in a few days early and post the results on her journal. Bookstore workers have also been responsible for leaks (though, we understand how working in a store where unopened Potters lurk evilly can be a form of torture acceptable in old-school Salem). Before HBP's release, someone on a military base in Malaysia got hold of the book and scanned in every first chapter page, the summary, and the whole final chapter, and sent it to Leaky. Some staffers were intensely spoiled. Some staffers are still bitter. Some staffers curse this person's name.
The powers that be seem even more prepared for this spoiler scenario this time. There are talks of extreme security measures, of chains and locks and last-minute deliveries.
BRING IT, we say.
Here it is, a refresher on Leaky's spoiler policy:
Ahem.
DON'T DO IT.
Sending us spoilers will get you one place, bucko: sent to Scholastic, Christopher Little, Bloomsbury, and every JoLawyer we can think of. We don't want to see them, we won't post them, and we'd want to stop you. Book revelations aren't to be spurted out in bullet form on a message board. They're to be read, dispersed at the proper moment, given all the context of the story. This is not like the movies, which cannot contain real plot surprises for fans.
If Harry dies, we don't want to know about it until J.K. Rowling decides to tell us. And if you decide to tell us before that, you'll incur the wrath of a staff of almost 200, most of whom have been waiting almost 10 years for these final revelations and can NEVER get back the moment you rob by spoiling them. That's some wrath, right there. We own pitchforks, hot wax and feathers. And we're not afraid to use them.
If, between now and July 21, Jo or her people release a fact about the book, it will be posted on this site, but you will be heavily warned about it beforehand. We understand a lot of you want to remain super-pure from now until then. We admire you, oh white angels.
If it comes from ANYWHERE else - from ANY unofficial source - it will not be on this site. You have no need to worry. We might recognize its existence in a news story, but the actual content of the spoilage won't appear on these pages.
So, bookstore managers, librarians, and people who like to stroll in the fields next to the publishing plants: We appreciate that you feel the need to share your revelations with us. But you'd have better luck and would get a better response if you told your goldfish instead. Watch out, though - we hear the publishing companies are looking into fishbowl surveillance. Mr. FlippityFins just may be a plant.
And if you're that guy who shouted "SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE!" outside the bookshop at 12:01 a.m. on July 16, 2005? Just go away, man. Just go away. Quietly. And we won't hurt you.
Seriously: we're almost there, guys, so let's make sure we respect every other Harry Potter fan we can. It'll be worth it!
Back to tar...
Around here it would be easiest to procure from a roofing company. It come in blocks and has to be heated to several hundred degrees to flow. It would burn the flesh off the spoiler's bones before the feathers could be applied properly.
Pity.
Also called 'chapapote'.
OMT
I'm just going to stop reading the net or watching TV soon -- for the last book, someone posted a SERIOUS spoiler as a forum topic that was posted on the right nav bar at Leaky. I heard it was down almost immediatly, but I read the book trying to convince myself it wasn't true. Horrid. Horrid person, whoever you are.
Well done Leaky! I completely agree on every form of punishment you can think of - i have one request... can you inform me when you're going on the mad axe-weilding revenge drive and I'm sure I will be able to rally the UK tribe of Potter fans to come with you. I'm sure we could come up with even more nasty punishments for spoilers... but we wouldn't want to spoil those peoples' surprise now would we? Rock on Leaky, Rock on Harry and Rock on all those people sticking to the security measures!! We salute you!:D
My solution is simple; I don't go to release parties or go on the internet for a week before release. I read OotP and HBP (1st day delivery by Amazon) in the privacy of my own home without a breath of unofficial spoilers, and there's no feeling like it. But that's not an option for the doughty Leaky webmasters, so I hope they don't get spoiled by some jerks who don't appreciate all the work they do for the HP fandom!
Put a simple little jinx on the entire first pressing so that anyone who blurts out any part of the book to someone who hasn't read yet it will have the word "sneak" indelibly etched on their faces with painful red pustules.
Thank you, Leaky. Thank you. Oh...did I say thank you?
Thank you.
Simple solution: Muffliato!
Obviously with some slight edits to make it a full filk. But yea. Awesome song.
"IM ALL FOR HOT WAX, FEATHERS AND ALOT OF PAIN "
They into hot wax nowadays? What happened to the good old days of tar 'n' feathers?
Anyway, forget torturing women with hot wax, they're used to it, dear.
wow people wanna do a filk to my lil thing *cries* IM SO HAPPY
i cant do it tho cuz I CANT SING >_
A BIG thank you guys! I can't imagine why someone would be pleased to spoil for the sake of it...Nor why freaggin' newspapers spoiled the ending too. I live in Argentina, and there was this newspaper that had an HP theories section and one dude sent a scan of the tower chapter of HBP. And there it was in big flashy letters: "DUMBLEDORE DIES AND SNAPE KILLS HIM". I just hate the guy who sent the scan and "La voz del Interior" (yes I said your name and I wish I could hit your chieff sorry arse).
Very well said. What I would really love is if Leaky took down that little box pn the top-right with the titles of the most recent DH threads in LL 'cos I've seen people post "spoilers" (which weren't really spoilers) in the titles in the past few days. One of these days, someone might post a real one and it takes only a little peek at that title to ruin all.
BTW: Snape is a body surfer LOLOLOLOL! I pity those who have to see those greying undies.
Melissa, I know there are there are thousands of people who love to post in the comments and on the Lounge, but as this is the last book why don't you just shut them down a month before the book comes out?? It will reduce the chances of some moron spoiling the Leaky staff, as well as us fans. You guys have done so much for us over the last few years and you all deservre to read the book without nowing the ending as much as we do. I'm sure noone would grudge you that, regardless of how much the may want to post something!!!!!
Don't give the idiots out there a chance to ruin it for you.
I understand why you wanted to make this post, but... it wasn't a good idea. It's not going to affect people who wouldn't do it anyway, and you've just challenged every troll in the world to try and spoil it for you.
It was also downright irresponsible to give people ideas about shouting out the ending at book stores. Yeah, maybe people like that would've thought of it themselves, but if it even gives ONE jerk the idea, it wasn't worth it, and you've just spoiled a lot of people.
Like I said, I realize why you wanted to make this post, but I think you need to think a little about what you're starting. Lecturing jerks is just throwing down a challenge. I kind of wish you would delete this story.
Myself, I'm going to stay away from all places that might have spoilers (including book stores). And I agree with the other posters that suggested turning off the forums, or at least make it all moderated. It would be nice if this was a spoiler-free zone, but let's face it... spoilers WILL be posted, and deleting after the fact is too much of a risk for me.
Hooray! We're almost there!
