An Untold Story

Damn it.

If you are a writer of any sort ’ whether it be of novels, of blogs, of essays for school or anything else (and that’s pretty much all of you creative Potter fans I’m sure), you know exactly how excruciatingly painful and frustrating writer’s block can be! And not only writer’s blog¦ I find with a lot of stuff I do, I put it off or quickly stop thinking about it if it enters my mind because I feel so horribly guilty that I’m not writing it, and I feel some kind of unexplained panic when I actually consider sitting down and getting it done. Eventually this turns into a fear that if I randomly sit down and begin to write one day, the result will be poor and shabby, and how do I know that today, rather than in a week or two, I’ll produce the best writing?

This is the reason why I’ve now put off finishing my fanfic for a year and a half.

A YEAR and a half.

A year and a HALF.

A YEAR AND A HALF!!!

I can’t believe it. It’s inexcusable, and it weighs down on me every single day that I can’t just finish the damn thing! I like to update my stories about once a week, and once I went maybe three months without finishing and felt dreadful. Three stinking months! Possibly the worst thing about this is that people are still reviewing it and sending me messages, asking with varying degrees of frustration (and I can’t honestly say I blame them) if I can’t just finish the story. And I want to, SO badly. But I don’t want it to end. That’s another reason why I don’t want to finish the fanfic, I enjoyed the story so much, and when I suddenly saw an end to it, I wanted to slow down. I’m worried I’ll end it and forget to tie something up, or end it badly ’ you know those stories that start off so strong and then kind of sizzle out towards the end? I’m terrified of this.

It’s a weakness, and I’m not attempting to use it as an apology. But everyone goes through this, and there is really only one relief to my agony: TO FINISH IT. Imagine the relief! Seriously. Now of course I have to read the entire thing again cause I have half-forgotten what I even wrote, but I just know that the story needs to end and everyone will be much happier. I might even be able to start another story, I have had so many ideas but the guilt of the other story is preventing me from really getting into it, committing myself to something I’m afraid I won’t be able to finish.

As Maya Angelou* so cleverly expressed it:
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

¦Well, maybe a half-told story. But I will finish it. And once I do, I will implore all you fellow fanfic writers out there to make an effort with your stories, because I know how many of you share my problem! It is so frustrating to get so caught up in a story and then it’s unfinished. Wow, I feel guiltier by the minute, I better run over to get that next chapter out! The very worst thing is, I think it’s actually on my computer already, waiting to be published, I just never did cause I wanted to be sure I had the next one down first¦ aah I am so bad! Admitting it feels so good.

Sorry for the self-absorbed post! Later guys!

*I don’t know who this person is. I heard the quote on one of the old PotterCasts (I’m in the #20s now!) and that’s actually what inspired me to do this post and get my butt in gear. 🙂